A New Life : Life’s Ending - Episode 20
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Sunday, 30 September 2007
… Todae is the last episode …
Last day of the mth also means tat new challenges are comin ahead… Sianz… So, for me, I am realli nervous abt tmr… Dunno wat will be happenin ahead of me, dunno hw will I be handlin all these…
I guessed I did hated myself for makin me havin to reach a stage of no returns… A stage where I am totalli lost of makin decisions, a stage where I probabli lost all my confidence in juz one moment of folli…
Lately after all these happens, I begin to lose all my confidence… I begin to lose hopes tat I used to haf… For so mani mths of regainin my confidence side, I started to lose it again… Why is life beginin to take back wat it gaf me???
Hw things happened so quickli??? Juz at one blink of an eye, ur friends cld turn into stranger, the most passionate stuff u haf cld become ur worst fear, the one whom u believe in cld juz leave u alone…
I guessed as the earth begins to make its round, u also turn and juz vola… changes… Tats seriousli is wat life is abt… Ppl told me to face it wif a positive mindset… But forget it… I am nt realli confident anymore…
Hw I wish I cld tahan and carry on… Even as mani of my friends told me tat they knew wat I am doin… But hw I wished to tell them… I am onli a human… I needed all of ur support… But guessed onli a few does understand my plight…
I sure haf nth to lose alreadi… I came alone… I always built up wat I dun haf alone… I always start to knw new friends when I am alone… This word alone itself accompanies me for 20 yrs…
In this 20 yrs… all the most difficult moments, I haf indeed overcome it… Even if I dun overcome it, some help always arrive in time… But I juz dun get it… Why muz I endure for so long before help comes??? Cant it come even earlier???
Its juz like why I haf to deal wif so mani stuff alone… This is nt me… I realli hated myself to be alone… To face all the worst situations alone… To fight off all these difficult moments alone…
WTH… U tink its so easi, isn’t it??? Den u can haf a tri on ur own for 20 yrs and tell me hw u feel after tat… So mani unknown situations makes me too tired alreadi… I am alreadi feelin tat I shld nt be facin anythin anymore…
So… Who will always stand by me???
