A New Life - Episode 15
Friday, 24 August 2007.
Ever get fraustrated before? Ever lose ur cool somehw? I tink I did in the past… Its due to stress and tense times tat I will be like tat… Hwever, it seems like a long time esp after my life changes… Maybe I shuldn’t haf lost it…
Somehw todae I didn’t keep my cool… I guessed todae I sorta didn’t ctrl it… Hw wld I knw I suddenly can be du lan tat easili??? I guess I realli had wae too much to improved on… I muz improved… I muz…
Keepin on tellin myself isn’t helpin… U juz gotta do it… When u dun do it, and u juz keep on sayin, u will nt be able to show ppl ur willingness to change and in the end, u become someone unworthy of… Todae I almost become one… and I am nt goin to let myself step back into the past again…
Hw did I lose ctrl? Todae becoz of my understudy in camp… Its rainin heavili… and he’s in the 7 ton… I told him to drive nearer to the doorway so tat I can passed him those stuffs… WTH… he juz dun wanna listen and keep on sayin the 7 ton cannt go near…. I guess part of my mistake is tat I thot the 7 ton can drive thru the 2 candace boats… which it can…. or maybe the driver dun haf confidence…. but another pt to note is tat, its rainin heavili, n u expect me to gif u the equipments thru the rain meh???
Tats hw todae I lost my cool… Eventualli after nt able to tell him my idea, I walked off and leave him to pick up the equipments which i placed at the doorway himself… I guessed part of it is rite thing to do, as I stop myself to quarrel wif cui cui but the bad pt is tat I shuldn’t haf left him there…. Its realli bad for me who has been improvin myself wif my NS mates… Haiz… guess my bad daes happens to me like tat….
ICT or in camp trainin comes in the afternoon ard 1.30pm… ai yoh… my MA is likely to be a cannt make it alreadi… Too bad… Had to postponed in the end… I finished helpin the rest of my NS mates ard 2.45pm… Wah…. my appointment 3.45pm… Too rushed alreadi… After changin it, the next appointment date is sept 28… 3 daes before my bmt recourse… Guess had to accept the fate…
Sundae cannt enjoy sia… Bo bian… haf to go to floatin platform for AHM at 5.45am… Wah… Hw sia…. 12 km leh… Had to go there and run… and wats worse??? Wake up earli juz for a run on sundae??? Haha…. I guessed all the bad things happen at one time… Haiz… Well, had to get on wif all these… Thankfulli, I took mondae as my off daes, or else consecutively havin NS stuff cld realli make my mood drop badli…
I am realli runnin out of time once again… Once tat my career starts to come to put to a stop, I realli cannt tink of it… I guessed tats me, once I get committed wif one thing, I will be stubborn to let go of it until I finished my aim or objectives and nw, juz startin everything, I had to stop it makes me even unaccpetable of the facts….
But since its the facts, i juz had to accept it… Guess I may nt be someone who has truly changed as I had a lot to improve on… But at least, i am glad to keep one thing wif me and tat is to stay positive….
Tis is impt and wifout the positive in me, I guess I wld haf been a doom to fail in my current situations… I guess after thankin my good friend for so mani times, I haf to thanx her once again… I guess tis valuable lesson is sth which I need to keep myself up and progress…
Be the situation is hw bad nw… i juz haf to get on wif it… Maybe it will be put to a stop, but YMCA outings and activities, I am determined to carry on wif it… I guess its time to realli tink and find out hw… Tats why even why I am goin for my bmt recourse, I am still into it…
For the first time, I am goin to sae… Its time for the plan to start, begin and unleash…. Its time for me to act nw… Before its too late… Its time to do sth….
I guess its realli time…. Time for a fight for my future… Time for one more huge changes…
