CHRIS @ WORLD

Sunday, July 29 2007.

Firstly, some points had to be made before the last episode.

1. Abt why Wan Leng is no 1 in the top 10 girls… Its becoz of all the hard work and sai kang she had did for the turtles in y camp…. frm hw she never smile and stresses herself… I can understand tat she had done too much alreadi and so for her hard work and efforts, i gaf her 1st…. guys, pls dun misunderstand anymore tat i haf feelins for her or wat so ever… i haf onli one girl in my mind and u all knw who is it…

2. Why Angela rank higher than Mei Xuan… hm… probably its hw i compare the 2 of them on wat they did in the y camp…. I cannt realli compare the 2 of them in the outings coz angela is nt at all the outings except 1… hm… maybe mei xuan ranks lower due to her quietness… she seldom tok… and as i sae last nite… maybe its becoz of our mr T… tats why angela ranks a little bit higher… haha….

3. I haf no point of disappointin the turtles out there… but i probabli will nt be goin for any outings frm august onwards… maybe some… maybe none… i dunno… but i realli felt tat i needa some time to gif myself a complete rest… I am gettin quiet and quiet as each outings goes… so needa some time to refresh myself… So turtles… next time when u ask me for outings… i will nt be answerin u tat quickli i will be goinin… will tink of it before decidin… sorrie guys…

Actualli the 3rd pt is some decision i made while i was quiet the last nite… maybe realli needa some rest frm so mani outings… maybe wanted to refresh myself before showin the guys a fresh me… I dunno… but as days goes by… i am gettin tired easily…

I knw terence will probabli tok to me… shu wei will console me… daniel will also made some pt to me… I realli thanx u guys for all tis… i am realli grateful… but i need juz some time myself too… Seriousli, i am never a out spoken guy… i am also nt someone who can keep my smiles on all the time, neither am i a person who likes to keep on tokin and tokin… i am someone who’s reserved to myself at times….

Maybe its her who made me wanted to get out of my well… get out of those reserved space i am in it… Its dark and its shallow… once u r inside, u never can climb out easili… but she made it wide and i can find some light….  I tink I haf gotta out of tat well… but i juz needa some time to keep to myself….

So by makin tis decision, i knw i will nt be seein the turtles tat often… I knw tat, and i will surely miss them, but i hope to haf some time to rest too… haiz… too bad… at time like tat, i juz gotta make one decision…. probabli nw i will see hw impt is the gatherin, den decide to go… haha…

Anywae… the one person i cannt help worryin is her… I knw tat she is startin her uni quite late… so she will be out in most of the outin… I also knw tat she has mani friends to look after her… and the turtles will also… but i hope again… may all of u help to carry on to look after her… i am prayin in my mind n heart tat no danger will ever fall on her… or i will be sorrie on myself… so, turtles and her friends, plz look after her… i tink as i am goin to miss so mani outins… i will haf a long time nt seein her….

Maybe, i shld send sms to her again… I am seriousli nt embarassed neither am i afraid… the thing is i cannt find any more topics to say…. maybe its due to my characteristic… i am afraid if i am goin to tok to her more in depth things, she will be rejectin all my sms… i dun realli wan tat… but by nt tokin to her…. i am sort of like losin contact wif her… so its leadin me to like in a lost direction….

I thot to myself last nite… I dun realli knw hw long i can keep on lovin her… i realli dunno… But wat i knw is tat, i am quite fortunate to knw tat she’s still out there… its alreadi been a great thing for me… I am realli great to knw her… so tats why i knw tat there is a limit of things i can do… other than tat i can onli do things in the dark… haiz…

Turtles, out there… juz askin u all to realli help me to take care of her in anywae… i will be grateful to all of u…

For the past one mth… i am realli grate to knw so mani of u…. its been a great time… esp. i haf new bros like terence, daniel and shu wei…. and someone who i haf been disturbin… Ms. AJ… den the lame Ian… haha… and all of u… for the whole of july its realli great… but there’s one phrase… tat is tian xia wu bu shan zhi yan xi…. All good things will come to an end… August is definetly a turnin pt to all of us….

Juz like i am wif some of my friends… we definetly haf gd times in the past… but we also haf nt been seein each others for yrs and mths… dunno when will meet them again… but i knw some daes, i will meet them again…

In my heart, i haf alot of things to sae… But its always hard to express in words… Its even harder to express it by actions… For those tat i loved in the past, i am grateful to u all, coz if u all did nt reject me, i wld haf nt met her… i tink thank to u girls… I haf met her, and thankfulli she’s my last….

For all my bros… i may nt haf help u all much… but believe me, whenever u need me, and i can be there, i will definetly help u all…. wifout hesitation… For all those who haf some misunderstandin wif me in the past… i realli hope tat all this misunderstandin has been cleared… i realli hope…

Finalli, its nw the end of After it ended… Thanx to all of u out there… esp. the turtles who provided all the adventures tat i experience… I realli thanx u all… Its great to haf u all out there….

As a promise, A New Life will be the new series… It will be startin after the national day. Thanx guys out there… Cya in the new series… 

Saturday, July 28 2007.

Speakin of yesterdae when I slept at 3am… Its seriousli a bad thing… Coz i feel blur after wakin up… den thot maybe i will nt wake up in the mornin if i dun haf ppl wakin me up… tat was when i thot why nt msg her to call me in the mornin to gif me a mornin call, but den again… it will be quite strange… or maybe its been a long time tat i haf nt msg her… so nw i felt quite strange…. haiz… anywae… juz set my alarm at 7.30am…

RING!!!! the alarm rang… well… indeed i am quite blur… dun even knw wat i was doin or where i was… sorta of… so wif my blury eyes, i found my wae to brush my teeth… due to too tired… i den decided to went back to slp… so hw i knw……..

8.30am… my hp rang… i was like shit!!! I am goin to seriousli be late… anywae, its a call frm my NS mate… he was askin me whether i wld be joinin the rest of them for breakfast… i was like nvm… i haf my own breakfast at home coz i dun realli had much money left…. rejected him anywae…

Ard 9 plus am… i reached the meetin place wif them… anywae, knew tat the time to go dwn show village had change… its 10am… seriousli if i knw tat i had to go dwn later, i dun need to wake up tat earli lor… stupid botak boss… he sucks… nah… shuldn’t be tinkin like tat …. be magnimous… well… seriousli, i gotta change after sayin for so mani episodes… maybe i haf change in some small little ways, but to change to a better side, i will need more time bah.

The whole dae in show village are juz sai kang, sai kang and sai kang…. But i haf no complains… after all i am leavin at 6pm… but my other NS mates are stayin till 11 plus pm… so wat can i complain at if the rest of them never complain… i juz kept quiet and did wat i cld wif all my best… At there i also met my platoon mates of the past… if u had read abt my past entry, u will knw tat i originalli came frm 46 sar… well… initialli i thot i will never meet them again even at show village, but who knws… i still met them… N i was even lucki to meet one of my close section mate… he’s wei hoa… he helped me a lot durin my bmt times… tats why i was realli grateful to him… haha… hw nice tat he’s still able to recognise me… as initialli i thot maybe shuldn’t wave to them and say hi… who knws… I am realli glad to see my platoon mates again… glad to see them…

Ard 6plus pm, i left the show village wif my muddy shoes… went to marina square shoppin mall to change into the shirt i bought a few daes ago… and some nice shoe i had been wearin in the past… i den went dwn to YMCA… Its seems to me tat i had nt been goin dwn there for quite some time… abt 6 mths alreadi… also, i had nt been goin for the past 2 Y Gatherins after my last 2 y camps… so to me, todae was a new feelin…

Aniwae, when i was goin dwn, i did msg her… its juz a qns askin where the place was… so thot tat she will msg me quite fast… hw i knw i still had to wait for some time… haiz.. maybe she’s busy wif some other things… well… i alreadi told myself… never blame her for anything tat happen… so i will never complain…

Reachin YMCA… its ard 6.30pm, i tink… everyone has reached the place and i am the last lor… haha… anywae, seriousli, i did nt went for the briefin in the 1st place… i didn’t knw where the room is even after she told me…. so went right n left… its onli after callin terence den i knew where the place was…

Lookin at the camp videos brings me back a lot of memories…. haiz… all the y camps always brought me different experiences and memories… so i realli enjoyed myself and tats probabli wat kept me frm comin back… After tat, its dinner… hm… cannt realli sae its nt nice coz if u compared wif the food frm Y camp, definetly its better….

After some takin of grp photos… all of us went out except angeline and chong ming who left earlier…. i initialli thot of leavin… but terence persuaded me to stay… diaoz… tis bro of mine seriousli had a good wae to persuade ppl… haha…

We went to play some arcade games before goin to ben and jerry’s…. I played some games and its seriousli been some time alreadi since i last played…. so quite enjoyed it… Anywae some thots to been said… its at the datona racin… I muz sae i was lucki… coz i almost lost to mei xuan…. but however i got 1st…. well… so i am realli lucki lar… if i had lost… i dun even knw hw am i goin to face the guys… haha….

After tat all of us went to Cathay’s Ben and Jerry’s… or is it Ben and Jelly’s??? Doesn’t matter…. its nt tat impt… The thing is i realli kept quiet the whole nite… nt tokin much… maybe its due to tiredness… or maybe i am tinkin of sth else…. i realli dunno… the rest of them qere busyin tokin and takin pics… i tink its tat i sat too far frm them… so didn’t get to interact wif them… so sat them n do nth….

Took a look at my watch… its 10pm… i knw tat she had to leave… well… her outin time is always until 10pm… maybe 10.30pm… which is the latest… so haiz… juz haf to see her leave like tat…. Haha… seriousli there’s nth i can do after all… Nw… all of them were sayin tat i am sad coz i kep quiet the whole nite… n didn’t smile??? did i??? Nvm… i am nt sad coz of her…. ya… i am nt sad becoz she left … diaoz… i was juz tired, guys and girls….

Oh ya… saw some microphones at the place… thot maybe i cld haf sang some song… so tat i will nt be so bored… haiz… realli wanted to sing…. 

Ard 11plus pm… we finished takin all the grp photos, we went to the mrt stn and prepared to leave… Below… i am goin to tok abt our Ms AJ and Mr Ian since they dare me to include them inside my blog….

After terence dropped off at potong pasir stn…. Ian and Ms. Aj are veri funnie lor… they were like bitchin ard…. juz as they were bitchin ard… Ian was complainin abt my blog… He sae why wld he wan to knw wat happen to me… I den sae a blog is to describe wat happen to me daily lor and its a place to put my thots in…. ai ya… Ian… tats my style of my blog… so dun stop my style….

Aniwae thanx to Ms AJ… she sae my blog is nt tat bad after all… haha… thanx arh… Oh Ya… abt ms aj…. haha…. actualli wanted to start the rumour tat she like me… well since its nt real… i thot why nt… haha… but since she’s quite nice to me yesterdae… i forgif her once and dun spread the rumour…. hm… wat abt the rumour of she and Ian…. oops…. i shldn’t leak out lor… but ai ya…. haha…. anywae… there’s nth between them… Believe me… haha…

Next up…. After it ended - Episode 20 : Last Episode.